To know how quickly something should happen and how slowly to take it is a lost art. Life seems to be an undulation of rhythms and movements.
I am kind of overwhelmed with ideas…..
My journey to get to a healthy place many times takes me to places that I am not really expecting.
I remember the first time I went to one of my favorite places, Wash Park, to attempt to jog. I had my gear. It was a late September afternoon so the weather was great. It wasn’t too hot and it seemed like a perfect day to start. I had my tracker set to measure my time and distance. I had my little iPod set to play my tunes. Buds in my ears. Shoes laced and tied double so that I wouldn’t have to retie them…. I wanted the best time possible for my first time out. Nervously but with great expectations I took my first jogging steps. Then it happen…. my legs said “no way”…. my lungs said “you have got to be kidding me.”
In so many ways that is how this journey has been; it has been a rush to normality then a sudden jolt to reality. A flood of emotions can take place during those moments
The turns of our journeys can be surprising.
I also believe that the blank tablet is not always blank because there are underlying premises or beliefs. For me it was a belief that life is valuable. A belief that none of this has happen without a purpose It has given to me insight into who I am and a clearer undertanding of what I believe.
But I also believe that this journey doesn’t have to be just about the deep things of life. Oh, I will still wrestle with notion of desrire vs expectations…. guilt vs shame…. purpose over plan….. But I am becoming accutely aware of the lesser lessons.
Sometimes in the rush to get through the day we forget about the individual moments that we have in that hurried day.
I know that in my struggle to understand significant events I get so caught up with thinking about the more complex things. And in the mean time I miss the smaller lessons.
I have a confession…. I have yet to figure out how to pour coffee without some of it spilling on the countertop. I just realized that I am killing small branches every time I pour my coffee.
So it got me to thinking…..
How many times do I miss the smile of a person because I was in too much of a hurry to get to the next stop or meeting?
Have I slowed down enough to see a budding flower in the midst of a season thaw?
Did I learn how another person struggles with a similar situation by the act of mere listening instead of sharing my own struggles?
Did I read a comic strip instead of reading a deep piece of literature.
Life is not always the big things…. it is many times the small ones that just seem to fit in between them that give us an even richer life.